These death dreams has got to stop

Seriously, you can't really be happy with these dreams disturbing your life. And just when I came to terms with death from the last death dream. It was another thinking dream again, about death. It made me uneasy and very unsettled. That was on Thursday. To top off the goodness, I just found out that my grandmother from my mom's side is dying. I knew she was in poor health, but I never realized she's about to die any day now. Due to the fact that I live in Canada and have very little contact with her, we aren't very close. However, I still remember being babysat by her. I know her as a kind person, as opposed to the grandmother from my dad's side. Just 5 years ago she was healthy enough to travel, and came visit Canada. Just a year ago, her memory went, and she couldn't recognize people anymore. It's quite sad actually. I know she received quite a lot of abuse from some of my extended family members, fighting over inheritance. She did live to be quite old, but I think she has some regrets and several unfulfilled wishes. Mom is going back to Taiwan soon, in hopes she can visit her before she die. I would also like to go back and visit grandmother with my mom, but that's not going to be possible, due to school and lack of $$$.
Death really scares me. I sometimes envy people who are religious, because unlike them, I don't have the luxury of being certain that there is an afterlife. 50 years. That's aproximately how much time I have left, if I'm lucky. So what can you do with 50 years? Chances are, absolutely nothing. I'm not brilliant enough to do something groundbreaking. I am not charasmatic enough to influence a paradigm change in the world. Chances will be, I will not live a life of accomplishment.
So why live at all? Well, although people in general are stupid and annoying, I enjoy being with a select group of people. Interaction with people affirms my existance, and thus gives me pleasure. I also enjoy the pleasures of life. I would love to live a life playing games, go travelling, learn many forms of weaponary, SCUBA dive, go into space, go speed boating, etc., but my finances don't allow me to live that life.
Two possible way of living: to live a life of pleasure, or a life of accomplishment. I always thought I would like a life of accomplishment, but I'm not so sure. A life of accomplishment allows a person to persuit a type of immortality, allowing the person's work to live on, even after their death. But what meaning does the accomplishment have? Part of me believes that when you die, you die, which means, upon your death, your accomplishment would have no meaning to you as a person. I am not selfless enough to care what happens to the human race after I go. I don't even care if humans become extinct shortly after I go (well, maybe not too shortly. I care for my friends and family to not want them to die so abruptly. But I don't care if the rest of the planet goes). Alternatively, living a life of pleasure leaves you with no legacy, which makes the life seems somewhat not any better than being a common family pet.
As I said before, life is cruel. To receive awareness of my own existance, and to develop an appreciation and love for life, only to be thrown into the inevitable end. I sincerely hope there is some sort of existance after this life. If there is an afterlife, and I get a choice between going to heaven, or reincarnation, I wouldn't mind coming back again.