I see my life flashing right before my eyes.
Well, I got several things done this winter break. Went to Body Worlds 2, went to Kathrine the Great exhibit, start and finish reading Polgara the Sorceress, start and finish Narutaru manga, beat Chrono Cross, and watch bunch of movies. Still so much undone, and probably will remain undone. Oh well. There's never enough time for wasting.
I don't know why, but for the past couple of weeks, the nagging desire to want children keep popping up in my head. Mayhaps it's the novel Mandy lend me, mayhaps it's just me, but nontheless it's a thought that I didn't think I would contemplate. People that know me would know that I hate children. They are highly irritating, and their ventures to test what they can get away with is quite tiresome. But why would people want children? There seem to be some innate pleasure for people to have progeny. In a way, it allows people to leave a legacy of themselves. But that also isn't true, since that would violate the concept of individuality. Besides, how often do children listen to their parents completely? If you think about it, your great grandchild will only have less than 15% of your genetic material. You're not really leaving anything that's truly you. Essentially you're spending all that effort raising what you believe will be your legacy, which is not really your's. All that of course, are the reasons why it would be stupid to have children.
But of course, with all that reason behind why I SHOULDN'T have children, for some reason I'm feeling this perhaps biological drive to WANT children. I can think of a couple of benefits, but I'm not sure they're genuine, or I'm just making excuses. One of the benefits is that you'll have a life long companion, who due to biological drives from genetic ties (ie. relation by blood), won't ever truly leave you. Actually, I can't think of any other reasons. I suppose it would be the same reason for wanting a wife/ husband.
This brings up a chill down my spine actually. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but the thought of living alone in a bachelor apartment at age 70 has crossed my mind. I've seen examples of the bitterness that comes from lifelong bachelorhood, and there's something unholesome and pittiful about that. On the one hand my desire for a significant other stems from curiosity, for I have no idea what it involves, and would like to experience this thing which many has both gained great pleasure, and many has gained great pain. On the other hand, I really don't want to be the bitter old man living alone in a coup.
I guess the problem partially lies on me. I'm too picky, and I don't know where to look for the type that I desire. Even if I do know where to look for the one I desire, who'd want someone that would probably be crushed by the mass of an average north american female? Who wants a person that lacks basic common sense? It really hurts the ego when no one in your life ever expressed any desire for you.
Hot damn, am I whiney and anxty today.
I don't know why, but for the past couple of weeks, the nagging desire to want children keep popping up in my head. Mayhaps it's the novel Mandy lend me, mayhaps it's just me, but nontheless it's a thought that I didn't think I would contemplate. People that know me would know that I hate children. They are highly irritating, and their ventures to test what they can get away with is quite tiresome. But why would people want children? There seem to be some innate pleasure for people to have progeny. In a way, it allows people to leave a legacy of themselves. But that also isn't true, since that would violate the concept of individuality. Besides, how often do children listen to their parents completely? If you think about it, your great grandchild will only have less than 15% of your genetic material. You're not really leaving anything that's truly you. Essentially you're spending all that effort raising what you believe will be your legacy, which is not really your's. All that of course, are the reasons why it would be stupid to have children.
But of course, with all that reason behind why I SHOULDN'T have children, for some reason I'm feeling this perhaps biological drive to WANT children. I can think of a couple of benefits, but I'm not sure they're genuine, or I'm just making excuses. One of the benefits is that you'll have a life long companion, who due to biological drives from genetic ties (ie. relation by blood), won't ever truly leave you. Actually, I can't think of any other reasons. I suppose it would be the same reason for wanting a wife/ husband.
This brings up a chill down my spine actually. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but the thought of living alone in a bachelor apartment at age 70 has crossed my mind. I've seen examples of the bitterness that comes from lifelong bachelorhood, and there's something unholesome and pittiful about that. On the one hand my desire for a significant other stems from curiosity, for I have no idea what it involves, and would like to experience this thing which many has both gained great pleasure, and many has gained great pain. On the other hand, I really don't want to be the bitter old man living alone in a coup.
I guess the problem partially lies on me. I'm too picky, and I don't know where to look for the type that I desire. Even if I do know where to look for the one I desire, who'd want someone that would probably be crushed by the mass of an average north american female? Who wants a person that lacks basic common sense? It really hurts the ego when no one in your life ever expressed any desire for you.
Hot damn, am I whiney and anxty today.
posted by Psychopathic Puffin at 7:58 PM
1 Comments:
Reality check:
#1. Most people lack basic common sense in at least one area. Why do you suppose Dr.Phil is so popular?
#2. Following that logic with #1., there will be at least one girl who will desire you. And she will be a good match since she, also lacks common sense.
#3. 99.9% of people walk into parenthood with absolutely NO clue as to what it ACTUALLY entails. Kids are overrated. Get a pet instead. When in doubt, adopt.
#4. I think I'll join you in the road to lifelong bachelorhood. I'm a terribly independent person and can only stand the same individual in smaaaall doses (as in ppm). Again, get a pet instead.
Glad you are venting your feelings. The worse thing would be to keep all this in.
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